When one door of happiness closes,

another opens……

but often we look at the closed door for so long that

we do not see the one which has opened for us!!

 

Dinner with Dharam Paji!!!

well,this was taken in december at taj…..me and my favorite cousin Anmol and the man himself

 

it’s a “suit” day…….

well,i would like to introduce two super-duper VIP babes,Ms Karuna (on right) and Ms.Gunjan hanging out at my favorite palce bakes-n-beans!!

that’s us at the rose garden just a day prior to the rose fest!!

my personal favorite…….

apollo stood on the high cliff, “come to the edge” he said,

“we can’t” ,they said,”it’s too high”,

“come to the edge” he said,

“we can’t” ,they said,”we’ll fall”,

“come to the edge” he said,

and they came and he pushed them and they flew….

our deepest fear…

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

our deepest fear is that we are powerfull beyond measure,

it is our light not our darkness that most frighten us.

we ask ourselves,”who am i to be brilliant,talented,gorgeous?”

actually,”who are you NOT to be?”

if only i had known….

If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain,

i’d keep you out for hours in the strom…

I would hold your hand,like a lifeline to my heart and underneath the thunder we’d be warm..

If i had only known that i would never hear your voice again………i’d memorize each thing you ever said…

and on these lonely nights,i could think of them once more…and keep your words alive inside my head…

If i had only known i’d never hear your voice again

you were the one, who i always thought stood beside me…

so unaware,i foolishly believed that you would always be there….

but then came a day when i closed my eyes…….and you slipped away…

If i had only known it was my last time by your side…

if i had only known it was my last night by your side……..i’d pray a miracle would stop the dawn…

and when you smile at me,i would look at you and forget that something wrong ever happened….

If i had only known,if i had only known…

the love i would have shown…..

when is right time to say “see ya around”

i truely believe in the fact that there is a right time for everything,but what when the right day and the right time has passed away……….it is so far that the day and time are like a small dot that you see from a long distance.well the consequences are this that the people you earlier wanted to say “see ya around” to, say it u or if that does not happen then you spent the rest of the time that you are with them feeling like a total fool that you have very successfully “graduated-wid-honours” into.the very recognizible signs are blabbling since time immemorial,not making sense at all to the other party as well the speaking party(urself),calling or making plans for no good reason,when hanging out get this impulse to kick some serious ass(understanbly of the other party),listen to them supposdly chatting when r u wondering what the heck!!and the last straw is when u feel like their acquaitance and yet supposdly friends.but then getting all philosphical one tends to wonder what went wrong?what happened that it had come to such pathetic phase?and the irony of the situation is this that there was one time you coudn’t see beyond that person.well you still can’t, but then so-called-friend somehow has mastered,successfully the art to get on ur nerves.those good times look all made up now by one’s imagination,those coffee conversations have turned tasteless,those chaat n tikkis have surly lost their spice.but is this all to life of that “bond” that had once been the best thing ever?sometimes it does put you in a pickle:should it be declared a “lost cause”….or wait till eternity for things to turn around? ….sometimes u wish life wasn’t like that,taking it’s own course,when it comes to things like these you surely want it your hands ……………big time.sometimes you just want……..things decieded …….this way or the other………so that it’s easier to hate them or love them for whatever they are…….well in the end i guess i will have to wait fo the right time for that too………

sometimes

sometimes all i wanna do is bang my head in the wall,but then by doing so would turn things around for me,i wonder what would have become of the wall.sometimes i just want to join a threatre group n do the role of a looney toon so that i get to scream,shout,act mad n still look good,i wonder whether i will be able to keep up the good appearences.sometimes i just wanna be too good,so that no matter whatever i write,speak it makes sense to other people and the top of all to ME.sometimes all i want is to be taken seriously,to feel as if my presence matters,my opinion;advice holds weightage.sometimes all i want is to give two hoots to this “maya ki duniya”,but no matter how much i try too to follow it, i have to trace my footsteps back.sometimes i just want to hold this memorial service for the people alive or dead,who r not a part of my life anymore,so that i feel at peace with myself (can’t say the same about them though!!!,might as well try vodoo on some).sometimes i just wanna be the jack of all trades,and when someone asks i just smile nicely n say “plain lucky,i guess”.sometimes i just want to be part of some soap opera so that atleast i know wht’s gonna happen in the future beforehand.sometimes i wish i never had the writers block so that whatever i would write would make perfect sense.sometimes i wish i was wonder girl who had it all,a meaningfull life,no dark circles,amazing skin,cool attitude,good timing,good enough sensibility.sometimes i wish i was this ace detective able to put together the puzzle and to do the right thing at the right time.sometimes(rather this is an exception,so here i wud like to say ‘all the time’) all i want to do is run away from maddening things,situations,memories and keep on ignoring them till they get tired and quit chasing me.sometimes i wish the butterfly effect was for real & i wud be the first one to get it and be miss.perfect.sometimes quite often(ironic as it is…) i realize that all these things are just not passed down the generations or just thrown down from the sky n neither are they inbuilt,it is something that i have to work on to bring it in me so that when i do think of all these things i tell myself that, sometime that will happen too.

i wait for..

people say that time changes everything,it heals wounds,makes u realize the irony of life in the ironic sort of way,makes u realize that some things that were not meant to change have long changed their course,the so-called feelings that were claimed have now long vanished like the wisp of smoke;disclaimed,that careless and carefree friend was indeed careless and carefree,i wait for the moment to realize that what all happened was a nightmare n now that i have woken up n all is the same.i wait for the moment when the phone wud ring and it would be like the usual times that comforting voice on the other side caressing me,enveloping me with warmth that no longer exists now.i wait for those heart felt words that had a truth about them and would make my worries melt away and now stab me repeatedly.i wait for those abrupt late night calls asking me to speak my heart out n now make my heart cry.i wait for those comforting words wispered to me when i stumbled n now make me stumble.i wait for that one glance that wud just make me forget the rest .i wait for that one special smile that wud make seem everything worth the effort n now seems as it was a fake.i wait for those over coffee conversations which have long lost their taste.i wait for some sign that things will turn around not realizing that what happened : happened for the best.i wait now for me to realize that it’s time to accept reality n let the feeling sink in.i now wait for the day wen not even once will i think of those gruesome,testing times coz this is what life does:takes the test first and then teaches u the lesson.but then i realize that this was one of the bumpy rides that life was waiting to show me to make a stronger me.and yet again i wait for another test life has to take and this time i wait wid patience,to pass it wid flying colors

the day today…

aaj phir jeene ki tamana hai…yesteterday’s shadow’s are seemingly fading away,which had earlier burnt a big black hole in my soul,battered it’s spirit,left it to rot n deccay but i guess god has given each one of us the power to pick the pieces up but then he has also left it on us to realize it for ourselves.
i had a dream last night where i could picture the day today,it is a beautiful day,sunny skies,cotton clouds like god had added them to touch up the effect,i was there n suprisingly no one else and i went about my usual life but i could feel the difference………….i was content.